Dear life..

Dear life,

hei, it's me, the blue freak. i think you've heard about me, so i think it's a pleasure to finally meet you.

i've heard a lot of things about you, i don't know if they are true or not. i just know things are not as i expected. i guess they never will.
they said life is hard, yes you are hard. they also told me that the unknown is an important part of life.
plans never succed, that's why we always sail through the unknown, unexpected, just reaching for a moment to be happier than we've ever been.
so, i guess i'm a sailor. a tired one. optimism would help a little. but i don't need it. i just sail. useless. aimless. i simply don't need any help.
i'm always fine by myself. there is nothing i need to be happier. lovely brain huh? yes, i know it hides the feelings, but it is its choice and i have to respect it.
just like you.
so, how are you. how's my future? i can keep it as a secret. please tell me. i'm really sick of everything around.
is it too scarry? that's why you're so quiet. or maybe i'm just to bad to know?.. mhm. i'm bad.
you made me like this. bad. cold. careless. so, i'm sorry to say that it's completly your fault. but it's ok. i forgive you (hug)
am i gonna be happy? will my heart survive, and if it dies, will anyone suffer...because of me? i have a list of people who deserve to suffer, i can help you if you
want.